Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The seasons of My life.

(Image by Sophie Blackall)

Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

I don't know.

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause
I've built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder,
children get older,
and I'm getting older too.

Take my love,
Take it down.
Climb a mountain and turn around.
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills.
Well maybe,
the landslide will bring it down.
(Landslide, Fleetwood Mac)

As I have been watching my friends/acquaintances/fellow bloggers over these last couple of months announce impending babyhood I find myself struggling to "handle the seasons of my life". I feel discouraged trying to "sail through the changing ocean tides." Is it jealousy? Yeah, I think it is. It occurred to me that many of my friends are actually wrapping up family building. Many of my friends have 3, 4 even 5 children already and are just about done having babies. How did that happen? How did I get so old? Some of my friends have children now that are in their 'tweens. Wow. Sometimes I feel so immature compared to my friends who are busy with careers, soccer games, school functions and parenting multiple children. Sometimes I feel so left behind & inadequate. It is like I have stayed in the winter of life and watched my friends blossom through spring and into a joyous summer.

I am so grateful for Kayley. She is my rose in Winter.
My precious flower blooming admidst adversity.

Enjoy the video. I adore Stevie Nicks...and if you remember I have a not-so-secret crush on Lindsay Buckingham. (See post HERE for a refresher on that!)

1 comment:

Under the Red Roof said...

You have it backwards my child, we all start in the spring, many remain in the spring before slowly moving toward summer, only after the snow comes to the hill top, and one feels the slow still of the fall night does a person move to the winter of our life. I stand here on the edge of Autumn ready to step gently into Winter and see you still there on the edge of spring just ready to step into Summer. Don't think for a minute your seasons have passed, the year is young, celebrate and rejoice in it for too soon come the snows.