James, Stephanie and Kayley

Friday, November 20, 2009

There has been an influx of anti-adoption spam on my blog...and my fellow adoptive friends blogs too. It is so sad that there are individuals out there who have had such a horrible experience in the adoption process that all they can do to express their bitterness is to surf the web looking for happy adoptive families to insult.

It must be hard to feel so bad about yourself
that you would desire to make others hurt as you do.

The spamming has driven some of my friends to go 'private' on their blogs.
Which is such a shame.
I really do not want to go private unless the spamming becomes unbearable.
I will, however, turn the comment moderator on if it becomes necessary.
Thank you for understanding and sticking with me.

In Friendship,
James, Stephanie & Kayley

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Dixie Stampede Christmas

We had a fun time tonight going to see A Dixie Stampede Christmas in Branson. A fun show that I totally recommend as fun for the entire family!!

The History of Adoption - Part 3

(Image found: http://www.zianet.com/patsyandfriends/029%20DianeOharaorphantrain92.jpg)

The History of Adoption
Part 3: The 2oth Century...

Up until the early part of the 1900s, adoption was all about helping adults. It was not strange at this time for an elderly man who had no children to go to court and legally adopt an adult friend or employee. In this way, the adopted adult could inherit his wealth.

During this time society did not always trust the idea of children being adopted. Many people were against it because it was different. So children without parents grew up in orphanages. This was not good because there were not enough adults in these orphanages to take care of them or to give them the love and attention that all kids need.

In 1915 a federal organization started called the Bureau for Exchange of Information Among Child-Helping Organizations was founded. It was hoped that a group like this would help children get the help and protection they needed. This helping agency was renamed in 1921 and is now called the Child Welfare League of American. Today it is known as the nation's largest group serving children and families in need.

As the 1900s progressed, the way people thought about adoption started to change. Before 1900, society thought it was OK that children and their adoptive parents had lots of information about the child's birth family.

Later on, around the 1930s society started to change and people started to believe that secrecy in adoption would be better. The adoption papers and all the information about a child's birth and birth family history started to be kept private.

During the 1930s, 40s, and 50s, the government began sealing/closing birth and adoption records. Secrecy surrounding adoption was believed to protect the triad (adoptee, birth family, and adoptive family) members. It was believed that birth mothers would be able to have their privacy protected, adoptees did not have to face being labeled "illegitimate" and adopting parents could maintain their privacy.

Secrecy in adoption was thought to be best for everyone at this time. Today we know this is not the best for everyone.

The years after WW II were also an important time for change. In 1948, the first recorded transracial adoption of an African American child by white parents took place in Minnesota.

(reprint courtesy of AdoptionClubhouse.org)

http://www.picturesheffield.com/jpgh/s06460.jpg

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sneak Peek #5

The History of Adoption - Part 2

Image found at Orphan Train Project.com.

The History of Adoption
Part 2 - After the Civil War: The Orphan Trains.

More than 200 years ago, after the Revolutionary War, orphans in the big U.S. cities grew up in institutions called "poorhouses" without a real family. Adoption was very rare.

After the Civil War, Americans were encouraged to adopt children and our current system began to develop. The "orphan trains" are a strange chapter in adoption history. Between 1854 and 1929, about a quarter of a million (250,000) children from New York City and other big Eastern cities were placed on trains to be adopted by farm families in the Midwest and West. Some went to Canada and Mexico, too, and had to learn how to speak Spanish or French.

Orphan Trains
Lee Nailling's dad was not able to take care of his large family by himself. So, in 1926, the children were all sent separate ways, and Lee and his brother George were taken to an orphanage. After two years at the orphanage, the boys learned they were going on a train ride. The train they were to ride was one of the orphan trains, which carried more than 200,000 children from crowded eastern cities to new families in the midwest, between 1854 and 1930. Lee Nailling's remarkable story is told in the book Orphan Train Rider: One Boy's True Story."

At each train stop, the children were lined up on the train platform and local families came out to meet them and adopt them on the spot. Some of these adoptions worked out well, but too often the children were abused. Their new families didn't treat them like kids, but like workers. And some of the children were beaten or had to sleep in the barn. The families were not screened as they are today so the children were at risk.

Many sociologists have studied the children who rode the orphan trains and they found some good news. Most of them stayed in touch with their birth families and eventually saw them again. In fact, some of the birth parents used the orphan trains as a type of temporary foster care. They always intended to reunite with their children once they were able to do so.

The orphan trains taught us that adoptive families should be chosen carefully for the sake of the children and that when family ties can be maintained safely, this is a good thing.

(reprint courtesy of AdoptionClubhouse.org)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The History of Adoption -Part 1

The History of Adoption

Part 1: Native Americans/American Indian Adoptions

For centuries, there was a tradition among some Indian nations that the first grandchild would be adopted and raised by the grandmother. In this way, she could pass on her wisdom and the child could help her in her old age. Of course, the parents lived next door so it wasn't really like an adoption of today. It was more like having a sleep-over at Grandma's house every night.

What was adoption like before the Europeans arrived in America? The answer is that adoption was a simple matter. It was considered a privilege to adopt in most tribes, and when a child needed a family, lots of people lined up. There were no orphanages or foster homes because the entire Indian Nation acted more like one family with all adults helping with all children. If you have ever heard the African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child," this is what it means.

During raids, if an Indian child was captured by Whites, he or she went to live in a boarding school to learn how to read and write. However, if a White child was taken by Indians, the child was adopted by the tribe, grew up with the same family and was treated just like everyone else. That child could even grow up to be a chief.

Indian Child Welfare Act
In the 1960s when there were more couples wanting to adopt White children than there were available babies, some White families turned to the Indian reservations to find babies to adopt. Many times these families did not tell the children about their Indian heritage.

In the 1980s, a law was passed called the Indian Child Welfare Act or ICWA. This law says that the Indian tribes have the right to approve all adoptions involving American Indian children. Because of ICWA, Indian children today are more likely to be adopted by Indian families. And in those cases when transracial adoption is necessary, the families now know to raise the child to be aware of and proud of his or her Indian ancestry and history.

Adoption Trivia
Question: Who was the first person in the new world to adopt transracially? Answer: Christopher Columbus. He adopted a Taino Indian child. His son returned with him to Europe and met Queen Isabella.

(reprint courtesy of AdoptionClubhouse.org)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sneak Peek #4

30 Ways to Celebrate National Adoption Month

(Image courtesy of blessencematernity.com)

30 Ways to Celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month

1. Organize a community "adoption walk" and invite local media.
2. Ask your house of worship to sponsor a National Adoption Day celebration.
3. Throw a shower for a friend who is adopting or has recently adopted.
4. Take a person who has placed a child for adoption out for lunch and just listen.
5. Make a bunch of yard signs or window clings that say "Celebrate Adoption" and hand them out to people who are touched by adoption.
6. Send a handwritten letter to your birth parents, your birth child, or your child's birth parent(s).
7. Donate to an adoption foundation to help financially-strapped families complete their adoption.
8. Cook a meal that reflects your family heritage and invite friends over to share it.
9. Contact your local library or bookstore(s) and volunteer to set up an adoption-themed book display or to lead an adoption story hour. Include books for adopted people of all ages, for adoptive and foster parents (pre-and post-parenthood), and for birth parents.
10. Give a copy of The Adoption Decision to someone who's contemplating adopting.
11. Adopt an orphanage or a local group home and donate needed supplies on a regular basis.
12. Volunteer to become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for a foster child.
13. Write a letter to the editor about a positive adoption story.
14. Organize a toy drive or winter coat drive for foster kids in your area.
15. Get trained and certified to provide respite care for foster parents.
16. Ask your clergyperson to pray for older children in foster care and orphanages during a church service.
17. Send an encouraging note and a gift card to an adoption professional or to a local child welfare social worker.
18. Share your adoption expertise/experiences at a support group, adoption agency, or church.
19. Volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center.
20. Host a yard sale or fundraiser and donate the proceeds to an orphanage.
21. Send a thank you note to someone who helped make your adoption or search dreams a reality.
22. Support a relief organization that provides housing, food, clothing, education, and counseling for AIDS orphans.
23. Put a photo of a waiting child on your car's dashboard. Every time you wait at a stop light or drive-thru, pray for that child.
24. Plan a get-together with other adoptive, foster, or birth families.
25. Offer to mentor someone who's considering adoption.
26. Conduct an adoption information meeting at your local library or church.
27. On Thanksgiving Day, share something about adoption for which you're thankful.
28. Offer childcare, meals, house-sitting, or pet-sitting during a friend's adoption travel.
29. Give your child a huge hug.
30. Give your clergyperson a copy of The Adoption Network and encourage them to start an adoption support ministry.

Reprinted from Adoption World (November 2008), a free monthly e-zine from author, Laura Christianson. www.exploringadoptionblog.com

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